what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the black man blind? because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green and looks like a red truck? A green truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops