A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

Why did the old man drop his milk? He had a stroke.

What happened after jimmy cheated on a test. Jimmy went home.

- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

What happened to your hamster? It died.

A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Bananas can't talk.

What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

What do u call a Mexican on the moon? An astronaut. What do u call all the Mexicans on the moon? Problem solved!!!

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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