Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide? where to find some cheap cyanide

what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

Starting a Genocide #YOLO

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

Spinabifita

What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...