Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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derp

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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squash squash who squash my ass

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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