What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did Billy fail his math quiz? Because he's stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Knock knock Who's there? Honey, just let me in. This bloody game can't go on for an hour. I'm cold out here.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they are highly trained astronauts taking part in a multi-year space journey to explore part of the solar system that man has never dreamed to be feasible.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

nba live 13

thumb_up thumb_down +43

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops