What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Yes.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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I am on a escalator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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