BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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What do you call a white man in the middle of Mexico City? Dave.

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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