What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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What's the difference between God and Kanye West? God doesn't think he's Kanye West.

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"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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miley cyrus

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Why would you wanna keep an idiot busy, it's not gonna make a difference...

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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