What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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A Jew and a Nazi walk into a bar... 1 year later they are married with a baby on the way

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? Well neither has he.

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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What's funnier than the world ending? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder in a staring contest.

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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Bloody kids ...

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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BenWuzHear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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