If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

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Person A - I farted Person B - YUCK

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What do you call a gay couple of kangaroos adopted baby A Joey

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

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What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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Flop dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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