Why did people call the girl a cow? Because she was fat.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Row, row, row your... Canoe.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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