Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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what happens when an unstoppable force hits an unmovable object? it goes around.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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