What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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(insert antijoke here

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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How do you put on a condom Very Carefully

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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17

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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