Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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F? No k

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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