i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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WHAT????

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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My parents have an open marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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