What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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knock knock Labrinth come in

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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