What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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a bald man walks into a hairdressers and demands beans on toast.

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a friend chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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Knock knock Who's there Police

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say cheese

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A blond and a brunette are on the moon. The brunette says to the blond "I'm glad that independent company's are taking the job of American space travel."

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a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops