Whats black and white, and red all over? A Zebra being slaughtered.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

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Why do black people have dark skin? Lack of melanin in their skin. You learn something new every day.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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what do you get when you cross a rhino and a chicken? well, if you're unlucky and too close too the chicken, salmonella if you provoke the rhino, impaled

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kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

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Why did the man burn all the children? He was a psychopath.

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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