What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

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You are gay, homo, stupid and a dick

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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What's the difference between John Candy and Chris Farley? Nothing. They're both dead.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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