Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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Your mother smells so bad that people make comments about it behind her back, and one person mailed her some soap.

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A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Nathan Gooderson.

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

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Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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