What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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A black guy walks in to a bar.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the chicken.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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