Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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