Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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