Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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clamidia

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Your mom is so ugly, that her job prospects are affected negatively, and your family suffers as a consequence.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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Why didn't the chicken cross tithe road Because it was a motorway

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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The Holocaust

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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