Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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John, Where are you John: Here! Where's here? John: nevermind

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Pianos.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops