what gets louder as it gets smaller? a baby in a trash compacter.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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A women in the kitchen.

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why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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