What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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What did the black jewish homosexual say to the conquistador? Nothing as they were both from entirely different time periods.

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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a jewish guy walks in to a bar says to the bartender says "I have aids" and the jewish man replys "my bad"

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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How much does the Holo cost? Six million.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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