Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

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There was once a man with a penis so huge, his girlfriend liked their sexual experiences very much. A year later they got married and had kids, however the man got fired from his accounting job and it all went downhill.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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Your mom

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing set? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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whats the capital of congo famine

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Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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