Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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someone called a frog a frog

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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