Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Why'd I have sex with your mom? I'm your father and I love your mother very much

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "How'd you open the door?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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SNAPPLE!

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the man walk into the bar? He wast thirsty.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the girl fall off the couch? She had a seizure.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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A man walks into a bar, he is immediately rushed to the emergency room

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops