A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

What's te best part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There are 20 of them ;)

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

I have no soul so I must consume yours

What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

You

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

what did the man say to the other man? hi

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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