In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Gustavo Andrade

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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