EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

thumb_up thumb_down -2

rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -2

On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats worse than being payton johnson being black

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -4

69

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the priest lying still? Because his son shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops