- Anti Joke

What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

Soooo... a black man walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer.

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

Why did a little kid have a long face Because his face was stretched out by a truck wheel

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

what do you call a homeless man? poor.

Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

Knock Knock! F*ck off

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

Beka has AIDS

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

John: Hey Pablo why are you standing outside Home Depot. Pablo: Because I work here.

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Women's Rights

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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