Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What is a chair?

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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Justin Bieber.

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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who ever is reading this....

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

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Q. What's smarter then the smartest woman in the world? A. A retarded seal, or pretty much anything else.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops