Guess what? I like trains.

A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

What's funnier than 24? 25

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

CORRECTION TO THE COMMENT BELOW! Its a WIN/WIN/WIN/WINWINWINWINWINWIN (WIN For at least 30 more minutes)/CUUUUM!/"SORE ASS WHINING CHILD Gonna grow into a slut SITUATION!" friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man The Anti-Christ: Do not thumb me down unless you want to feel the big burning hot spear of darkness, and you do not... You better don`t be or become a sore ass kid you allshole if you know what I am saying... Yeah! Thats right! You better fear me! Because the angrier you look... The more offended you become... The better you are starting to look...

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

"Free to play" Play free "right now"

'Dyslexic man walks into a bar... and orders a pint

Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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