What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What did the man with no teeth say? I need some teeth.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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tea with milk?

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Your biggest fan.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Sarah Palin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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