Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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What became of the girl who drank shellac and died? Her poor father attempted CPR for three hours straight before being forced to give up on his child's life. A massive funeral was held; everyone she ever knew attended. It was a very sad affair.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

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Why was the pilot suspended from flight? He was the terrorist who caused 911. OUCHH

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This one sucks!

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

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A Jew throwing a dime into a wishing well? Highly unlikely.

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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how did the monkey fall out of the tree he was stupid how did the monkey get a black eye he was hit by a bus how did the monkey end up in the sewer he got hit by another bus

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road To get to the other side

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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a guy walks into a bar the barman says "what'll it be?"

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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