What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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guess what? bannanas

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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