Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

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knock knock. who's there? me. me who? shut up im robbing you.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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