Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What types of animals are the most dangerous? Dangerous ones.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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what's worse than being attacked by a giant ant? being attacked by two giant ants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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