I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Agent 47.

Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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