Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops