Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bear eats some honey. I'm not really sure why and I've never seen a bear eat honey in real life so I don't really know if the bear actually ate any.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops