Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who is big and stupid My brother

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bus crashes and everybody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

24

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -19

a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey! Where is my tracker?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops