A Man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The Bartender proceeds to unload a 30 round banana clip into his head, neck, and midsection.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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oh hai

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What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

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A black guy gets a job...

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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I'm Batman.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops