Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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What did the two doctors say to each other? We are both doctors.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What did the hispanic man say to the black man? I don't know, if I was listening to their conversation, the would be creepy.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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