What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying? A: You hit it with brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops