Halo < COD

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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what is white and black and red all over? a half eaten penguin

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

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Potato.

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96

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Penis-Pump

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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why did the boy named rylie white get aids Because he had unprotected sex with someone with aids.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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