Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What's the difference between a microwave and hamster? They're both furry except for the microwave

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops